


Once Upon a Time

by dentedsky



Category: Dissidia NT: Final Fantasy, Dissidia: Final Fantasy
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Angst and Humor, Crack, F/M, Friendship, Lightisdays2k, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 03:32:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15572811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dentedsky/pseuds/dentedsky
Summary: Knight-errant Lightning and her squire Bartz go on a journey to rescue a prince(ss) from a tower.





	Once Upon a Time

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Lightisdays2k. But like, way late.
> 
> The plot for this fic bounced into my head after watching a Shrek marathon so it's probably one of the crackier fics I've written.

“This place is so ugly,” Bartz told Lightning as a small servant in robes led them down the long purple corridor.

“It also smells terrible,” said Lightning.  “It's been rumoured that the emperor puts his enemies in the walls and lets them die there.  I didn't think it was true until now.”

The servant looked over her shoulder and shushed them; Bartz ignored her, turning his wide eyes on Lightning. “I thought that smell was you!”

Lightning sighed. Sometimes Bartz said tactless things to Lightning, but she knew he didn't mean anything by them.  They had been travelling companions for two years now: Lightning had been a knight-errant and Bartz had been her squire.  Nowadays, however, under the new emperor's rule, the land had become barren, food was scarce and barely anyone was employed.  Tournaments no longer ran which meant that no prize money was to be won, and so Lightning and Bartz had to change their job titles to bounty hunters.

But even hunts were becoming few and far between.

Which was why they were here, in the palace of Emperor Mateus himself, about to accept an unfathomable hunt.

They stopped before the large doors that led to Emperor Mateus's receiving room.  The servant walked through nervously, and the doorman announced them:

"Presenting Ser Lightning Farron and her squire, your most great and powerful grace!"

The ostentatious emperor barely paid them any mind as Lightning and Bartz cautiously stepped into the large and opulent hall and bowed.  A large sorcerer in black armour was using his magic to carry and carefully place a massive, ugly black crystal on the dais behind the throne.

"Do you know what this is?" the emperor drawled without looking at them.

Lightning cleared her throat.  "No, your grace."

"It is the crystal that powered the defence system of the long-lost city of Insomnia, which has since appeared in the east."  He looked at them with cold eyes.  "I had this crystal stored in my vault; when Insomnia appeared, the once considered long-dead crystal glowed."

Lightning and Bartz exchanged glances.  They knew about the lost city, which had only days ago burst from the earth and rose through mist after having disappeared two thousand years ago.

The only evidence of it ever having existed was its heart: the crystal in the emperor's possession the emperor was only too happy to show off to them now, and the written prophecy about its last king, which Lightning knew was in the hands of treasure hunters know as the Tantalus Theatre Troupe.

The emperor looked back at the crystal admiringly.  "It is said there is a princess locked in the highest tower in the palace at the centre of Insomnia.  She is the last of her line. Take her, bring her to me well and intact, and you will get the second half of your payment.”

His eyelashes fluttered as his gaze lowered,  watching them from the corner of his eye.  Lightning felt the hairs on her arms prickle; just one look from this man spelt danger and death.

“I will wed her; and when I do, the crystal’s power will come unto me.  Be sure then that you succeed else you will be begging for death and Hell’s burning touch once I am through with you. Give them their starting salary,” he added to the servant, who bowed and then led Lightning and Bartz from the room.

*

Pirates’ Cove was the last town before the Forbidden Forest of Ajit that led to Insomnia.  It was a port town built of drift wood and iron, and carved into a jagged cliff off the turbulent coast.

Having finally got some money after months of catching and roasting their dinners, Lightning and Bartz spent some coin at The Fat Chocobo on some ale and mystery meat pies.

They clanked their tankards together in celebration of landing such a fruitful bounty just as Kuja glided into the pub already full of patrons.

“Uh-oh, here comes trouble,” Lightning murmured, but then Zidane and Terra walked in behind Kuja, and Bartz burst into a wide grin, got up from his stool and bounced over to Zidane, picked him up and twirled him around.

“Omigawd!” said Bartz. “You look like crap!”

“Thanks!” laughed Zidane.  “I missed you too.”

Kuja hailed for ale just as he and Terra sat down with Lightning. “So,” Kuja drawled, “it would seem your acquisition of the hunt contract was successful.”

“It was,” said Lightning, hiding her smirk behind her tankard, “thanks again for the heads up.”

Terra seem to deflate even as the barmaid gave her her ale. “I still think we should have taken it ourselves.”

“I agree,” said Zidane as he and Bartz dragged stools over and they squeezed themselves at the table. “Kidnapping princesses is like, my _thing.”_

“I told you,” said Kuja, frowning, “making any kind of trade with the emperor only leads to ruin.  If Lightning and her weird pet want to risk themselves, then fine, but I will _not_ risk the two of you!”

“Because you care about us,” said Zidane, exchanging knowing smirks with Terra while next to him Bartz scratched his head and muttered, “’Weird pet’?”

“Well _I_ am the leader of Tantalus – !”

“Kuja,” Lightning interrupted before he got into one of his tantrums, “about this princess... what do you know about her?  What does the prophecy say?”

Kuja took a deep breath to calm himself.

Terra said, “She’s not in the prophecy. ‘ _When darkness veils the world, the king of light shall come._ ’  Or something like that.”

Bartz tilted his head.  “That’s not all of it.”

Terra and Lightning gave him equally surprised looks.  “No, it isn't.” Terra agreed, but didn't explain further.

Lightning waved her hand impatiently when no more information was forthcoming.

“...We don’t know where the rumour about the princess came from,” Zidane admitted eventually. “Maybe the last king of Insomnia had a daughter, and he locked her in a tower, and then put a dragon there to guard her, I guess?”

“Wait what,” Bartz exclaimed, “who said anything about a dragon?”

Zidane shrugged.  “Isn’t there always a princess, a dragon, and a tower?”

Bartz shrugged back after a thoughtful pause.  “I guess.  Sometimes there's some vegetables involved too, like a pea or dragongrass or something.”

*

Lightning traded for the lunar harp which would ease their journey through the enchanted forest, and then she and Bartz mounted their chocobos and were on their way to Insomnia.

For their first night and second day they had rations, but by the second twilight of their journey they had to go hunting for rabbits.

Bartz’s ranger job class made this easy enough, so he offered to hunt while Lightning made camp, though she agreed reluctantly, muttering about wanting to break traditional gender roles, not add to them.  Bartz always shrugged this sort of thing off; he and Lightning had been traveling companions for years now, and he knew for sure that they weren't a traditional _anything._  

Bow drawn, he crept through the forest, following the sound of a waterfall.  Peaking through two trees and some thick bush he spotted the lagoon and its small waterfall... and a naked man.

Bartz’s eyes widened; he knew his pupils were probably dilating as he stared – for this man was the most beautiful person he had ever laid eyes upon.

He was blonde and lean, his back muscles rippling as he splashed water over his head and face.  He was in the water hip-high, the curve of his backside peaking just above the water surface.

 _Oh god, I want you,_ Bartz thought, and maybe he'd said it out loud because the man turned suddenly and stared right at the spot he was standing and ohmygod his blue eyes were _glowing_.

“Who's there!” the man shouted, expression thunderous, and then the man was gone, having dashed to the side and out of the water.

There was a surreal moment where it was quiet and Bartz just stood there, bow and arrow lowered, forlorn because goddamit he _lost_ him.  But then the man was back and in his face with a giant fuck-off sword and a fuck-off expression and Bartz whimpered because he was incredibly turned on.  But also sad because the man was wearing pants.

“Who are you?” the blonde demanded.

Bartz grinned.  “The name's Bartz!”

The man hesitated.

Then Lightning flew at him from the side.

Predictably, they started fighting.  Swords clashed, angry faces were made.

“Don’t hurt his face!” Bartz told Lightning.  “It's really pretty; I want to look at it some more!”

“Back off!” the man shouted at Lightning.  Strangely enough, she did, going over to stand next to Bartz.  “Let me guess,” the guy seemed to grumble, “you're treasure hunters and you're going to raid the lost city of Insomnia?”

“This is Lightning!” Bartz introduced with a grin and a hand wave in her general direction.  “She’s my ugly friend I travel with.  And we're not treasure hunters, we're bounty hunters!  We have a contract – “

Lightning slapped her hand over his mouth.

“Bounty hunters...” the guy muttered, eyes moving away from them as he thought to himself.  Then he examined them, taking a step forward. “My name's Cloud.”

Bartz pulled Lightning’s hand away gently.  “What, like puffs in the sky?  That's a weird name.”

Cloud glared at him. “What, and ‘Bartz’ is any better?”

“It's short for Bartholomew, which is a perfectly normal name!”

“Wait, _her_ name is Lightning!”

Bartz blinked, turning slowly to look at her. “Oh yeah...”

Lightning rolled her eyes.  “So you're going to Insomnia too?” she asked Cloud, sheathing her sword and crossing her arms.  “You better stay out of our way.”

“Or you stay out of mine.  I'm a mercenary, and I've been hired to... grab a particular piece of treasure hidden in Insomnia.  If you’re bounty hunters, then you're after a monster or a person.  Which is it?”

“The princess!” Bartz burst out.  Lightning narrowed her eyes at Cloud; he had hesitated, which meant he was either lying or not telling the whole truth.

“Let's travel together!” Bartz was saying.  Lightning let him; she wanted to keep an eye on this supposed mercenary, anyway.  “You can have whatever treasure, and Lightning and I will rescue the princess and take her to Castle Palamecia!”

Lightning gave him the side-eye.  “We're keeping _some_ treasure for ourselves.”

“Fine,” said Cloud.

*

Bartz was practically vibrating while he watched Cloud set up his tent across the fire from theirs.  “Should I ask if I can go sleep with him tonight?” he whispered to her.

“That's a bad idea,” she said; “you don't know anything about him.”

“But he's so pretty!”

“You’re being an idiot,” she told him frankly, not feeling the least bit surprised.  Fact was, Bartz always got a crush on the incredibly good looking.  First there was the pirate captain, who was as famous for being beautiful as he was infamous for being cutthroat.  Then there was Squall, who had the reputation of being the most handsome mercenary in SeeD (and god what a disaster _that_ relationship had been).  Then for a scary, hot minute Bartz had had a crush on Kuja, up until the point Kuja opened his mouth.

And now this guy.

After he had set up his tent, Cloud came over and sat with them.  Bartz turned the meat over so the fire would cook its other side.  “Look at all the rabbits I caught today,” said Bartz, fluttering his eyelashes at Cloud.  “Doesn’t that show that I’m a good mate?”

Lightning groaned.

Cloud shrugged.  “I guess so.”

“Can I stay in your tent tonight?”

Cloud shrugged again.  “Alright – “

“ _No_ , Bartz,” Lightning snapped.

*

The party of three rode to Insomnia the next day.

They had to dismount just on the outskirts of the ruins of the city because the chocobos were getting agitated, and: “I can see some pretty strong monsters ahead,” Lightning observed.

“We’ve got to stay alert,” Cloud agreed as he gave his black chocobo a light stroke down the side of its neck in farewell.

It was obvious to Lightning, as they strode though the ruins, that Insomnia had once been a rich, prosperous, and perhaps even technologically advanced city.  Now it was crumbling and mostly quiet, only three souls there to admire it.

“The palace is up ahead,” said Lightning, and then they were turning the corner and staring up at it.  “Looks like the tallest tower is in the east wing,” she added, pointing.

“There could be a dragon on the other side of those doors,” said Bartz, with trepidation.

“You got a sleep spell we can use?”

He smirked at her, then waved his hand in an arc.  “Black Mage job change, here I come!”

“You put the dragon to sleep.  I’ll take the east wing, and you take the west wing,” she said, adding the last instruction to Cloud, who nodded.

Lightning carefully and slowly pushed the grand doors open.

The dragon inside was already asleep.

Bartz and Lightning exchanged wide-eyed glances.  Then the three were nodding to each other and splitting up: Lightning to the stairs to the right, Cloud to the stairs on the left, and Bartz staying in the entrance hall with the humungous sleeping dragon, whose black shiny scales looked like razor blades, and whose head was as big as a house.  It snuffled in its sleep, and Bartz held his staff tight, ready to put it back to sleep if it woke up.

Lightning crept up the stairs.

She took the long corridor towards the tower, then climbed the winding staircase to the locked door at the top.

She stared a moment at the heavy wooden door, before kicking it open with a great slam and crack of splintering wood.

The moment she walked into the room she knew that deep down she was still a knight with a sense of honour; because the princess was real, and she was ethereal, and she was lying on her bed, fast asleep.

Lightning stepped closer until she was next to the bed, staring down at this beautiful yet male-looking princess, her hands resting over her middle.  And then the princess opened her eyes, and they were the colour of deep blue ocean.

“You okay?” said Lightning, heart pounding.

“You real?” the princess croaked out in a very male voice.

Oh.

Lightning blinked at him.  “What do you think?”

He stared at her a moment, and then closed those beautiful eyes and seemed to resettle himself.  “I must be dreaming; therefore, I’m asleep.  You’re a knight.  You’re supposed to kiss me awake.”

There was a rumbling noise from downstairs.  Lightning frowned and looked over her shoulder at the door, distracted.  She looked back at him.  “You’re wide awake,” she accused.

He peaked at her with one eye.  “I’m still sleeping.  You’re supposed to wake me up from my curse with a kiss, else I can’t come with you.”

And then Lightning heard Bartz scream for help.

Alarmed, Lightning put her arms under the princess – prince, rather – and threw him over her shoulder.  He squawked.

“We’re leaving,” she said, striding from the room with her heavy burden.

*

The dragon woke up.

Also, it was immune to Sleep.

It also seemed kind of immune a lot of things, including Blizzaga and Firaga.  The damn ugly thing _roared_ at Bartz, then had the audacity to breath fire at him.

“Ack!” Bartz yelled, who barely escaped getting his ass singed.

When it swiped at him with his huge claws, Bartz dashed up the wall and tried a Thundaga that the dragon barely noticed.  Airborne, Bartz grabbed on to the ancient chandelier and swung backwards and forwards while the dragon snapped at his feet.

“Oh my god I can’t do this SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME!” Bartz screamed.

Then Cloud dashed from the stairs, caught Bartz in midair, and then they were both flying in the air for a glorious moment before landing gracelessly on the floor.

Before Bartz could get his bearings, Cloud was off again, dashing up then shoving his ridiculously huge sword into the small of the dragon’s back and running it upwards, cutting the dragon open all the way up its spine, spraying blood everywhere.  It roared in pain.  Then he cut its cry off by chopping off its head, then he landed back on the floor before the dragon’s dead body slumped down in a bloody heap.

Bartz stared at Cloud in horror and admiration and pure, unadulterated love.

Then they were striding toward each other, Cloud dropping his sword with a clank on the way, and grabbing each other and kissing, Cloud with his hand in Bartz’s hair and Bartz fisting Cloud’s shirt.

They pulled away slightly, panting.  “I like you,” said Cloud gruffly.

“I like you too!” said Bartz.  “I’ve liked you since the moment I laid eyes upon you.”

Cloud’s blonde eyebrows did something complicated.  “Really?”

“Yes really, it was really obvious!”

“Was it?  I’m actually really bad… at reading people… ooomf!”  And then they were kissing again, Cloud’s mouth warm and soft and generous under Bartz’s.

Which was how Lightning found them, breathing heavily from carrying a grown man down several flights of stairs.

She glared at them.  “You’re both covered in blood and it looks really gross.  Also, I’ve got the princess; let’s go.”

“I’m… not actually a princess,” said the princess from around Lightning’s ass.

*

Lightning plonked the prince on his own two feet after walking away from the palace.

She, Bartz and Cloud stared at him.

The prince observed them through his dark bangs.  “So... What’s up?”

Bartz squinted at him.  “The... sky...?”

“No, that’s…” He rubbed the back of his head.  “That means ‘hello’.”

Bartz made a disbelieving noise.

“What’s your name?” Lightning demanded.

“Noctis, and yours?”

“I’m Lightning, and this is Bartz, and Cloud.” She put a hand into Bartz’s rucksack and pulled out some rope.  “And I’m really sorry, but you’re our prisoner now, and I’m going to have to tie you up.”

“Don’t you think you should be buying me coffee first?” said Noctis with a nervous laugh, stepping back a little when Lightning came towards him with the rope.

“What’s a ‘coffee’?” asked Bartz.

Noctis stared at him in horror.  “Oh my fu - where the hell am I?!”

“You’re in the lost city of Insomnia, east of Palamecia,” Lightning told him, voice reasonably gentle even as she tied his wrists together, her fingers brushing his skin, “and you’ve been asleep for around two thousand years.”

Noctis’s expression shuttered.  “Think I can go back to sleep?”

Lightning finished the knot and tested it with a tug, pulling him closer.  “Not a chance,” she said, eyes locked with his.  “There’s a bounty on your head, and we plan on getting paid.”

“Great,” Noctis muttered, the lips of his generous mouth pressing together in a hard line.  “So who’s the lucky guy who gets me?”

Lightning grit her teeth, an inexplicable wave of anger coming over her.  She wasn’t angry at Noctis… but.

“Emperor Mateus,” she said shortly, and the four of them began walking away from the palace, Lightning tugging gently on Noctis’s arm.

Noctis came easily enough.  “An emperor, huh?  Is it he good emperor?”

“Gosh, no,” Bartz scoffed, “he’s the worst.  All his citizens are starving to death and the land has become barren.  The only reason Ajit Forest hasn’t been touched yet is because it's protected by magic, but gil to ghysal greens that will change soon too probably.”

“So you’re selling me off to him because…?”

“I wanted some money so I could buy some mystery meat pie,” Lightning told Noctis coldly, a heavy weight sitting unrelenting in her chest.

When they found their chocobos grazing at the edge of the forest, there was a short debate about who would take Noctis with them on their birds.  Since Lightning was the lightest it ended up being her, sliding onto the yellow bird in front of Noctis, his thighs and front pressing into her.

“Um, is this...?” Noctis started, as if seeking permission, before slowly putting his tied wrists over her head and shoulders, then settling his arms around her.

She hadn’t thought he was much bigger than her, but there it was.  She tried not to think about how well they fit together.

Bartz spent the next hour nattering, mostly to Cloud, about his favourite things and what he liked to do (“My favourite colour is rainbow and I love dancing with knives!”).  Then when Noctis confessed he needed to relieve himself, it was Bartz who volunteered to escort him, leaving Lightning alone with Cloud.

She crossed her arms while Cloud sipped water from his canteen.  “So did you manage to find what you were looking for?” she asked, trying for casual but coming out sharp.  “The thing you were hired to get.”

He gave her the side-eye.  “I got it.”

“What was it?”

“A brooch once owned by the last Oracle,” he answered smoothly. “It has a summon materia inside it.”

“Hmm.”  She unsheathed her sword and lazily swung it around.  A casual chat between allies.  A threat.  “So you're from Midgar.”

Cloud clenched his jaw.

“Your eyes,” she elaborated, “and the way you do battle.  You were a knight once.  Magitek?  Or KNIGHT First Class?”

“The latter, I guess.  But I left; I'm a mercenary now.”

She gave him a long look.  “You never did say who hired you.”

“Guess not,” he said, matching her stare.  “You were a knight once too.”

Deliberately switching the focus back to her.  But she couldn’t avoid the question as smoothly as he had.  “A knight-errant.”

“No, I mean before.   You belonged to the true knighthood once; it’s obvious in your stance and battle skill.”

“It's long past now.  And this isn't about me.  Do I need to give you the speech about not breaking Bartz’s heart?”

Cloud’s expression turned earnest suddenly, and then uncertain.  He said lowly, “It's not me you have to worry about.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“We're back!” said Bartz, walking into the clearing with Noctis.  “Look what Noctis gave me!”  He brandished what looked like a neatly cut flat piece of slate.

“A... brick?” said Cloud.

“It's my phone,” said Noctis.  “But I guess two thousand years was too long for it and it won’t switch on.  It's dead.”

“Aw,” said Bartz, “should we give it a burial?”

“No that's... not necessary.”  Noctis gestured at Bartz.  “If you like it you can have it.”

Bartz turned it over in his hands excitedly.  “I’ll switch to ninja job class and throw it at a monster!” he said.

“Sounds like a great idea,” Cloud muttered, expression thunderous.

*

Lightning had been dreading the evening because it was obvious Bartz wanted to share a tent with Cloud.

Which meant she had to share hers with Noctis.

She set up the sparse bedding for both of them, then gestured for him to lie down on the left.

He showed her his tied wrists.  “Do you mind...?  For sleep.  I promise to keep my hands to myself.”

 _You don't have to_ , said some traitorous voice in her head, followed by the mental image of his hands running up her thighs that sent heat to pool between her legs.

She pulled out her knife and slit the rope without looking at him, and hoped the darkness was enough to hide her blush.

They both settled down to sleep, neither touching despite the tent being small. She listened to his steady breaths; he sounded strong and healthy.

Then, from the other tent, the moaning started.

“ _Seriously?_ ” Noctis muttered.

Lightning wished she had a pillow to put over her head to block the noises Bartz and Cloud were making.   Or to suffocate herself.

After a moment Cloud moaned something like, “Yes, right there,” which made Lightning’s eyes widen before she squeezed her eyes shut and rolled over away from Noctis.

“I guess I know for sure now that neither of them are with you,” said Noctis.

Lightning looked over her shoulder at him in surprise.  “What?”

He wasn’t looking at her.  “Well I wasn't sure if you were with Bartz or not. You two seem close – “

“Didn’t you see them kissing in the palace?”

“No?” he said, at the same time Bartz groaned, _You feel so good!_   “I wasn’t looking at them at the time.”

“I’m not ‘with’ anyone,” Lightning snapped.

“Good!” said Noctis, surprisingly vehement.  “I –“

Whatever he was going to say next was cut off by Bartz wailing that he was going to cum.

“WOW okay I can't do this,” Noctis exclaimed as he scrambled out of the tent.  “I need to take a walk.”

“Sorry, but I can't let you go alone,” she said, exiting the tent after him.

Bartz hastily crawled out of his own tent.  “She's right,” he’s said breathlessly, hair a sweaty mess; “I'll escort you – _Jebuz Cripe_ it's cold out here.”

“Maybe it would help if you’d put some clothes on,” said Lightning.

Bartz looked down at himself as Cloud came out of the tent, his trousers and tunic appearing as if he'd just thrown them on.  “Oh.”

Cloud put a cloak around Bartz’s shoulders.  “If the prince needs to pee, I can take him.”

“I don't need to pee; you two were just so noisy – You know what? Nevermind,” Noctis added as Cloud smirked at him.  They both left the campsite, trudging through the trees and bushes and away.

Lightning glared at Bartz.  “That was so embarrassing!  And don't you think you should slow down; you don't know where he's from, or why he’s even here.”

He waved her off, infuriating her more.  He took a drink of cooled boiled water from the pot.  “He had to get some hairpin accessory or something. “

“Oh really, have you _seen_ this magical hairpin?”  She felt triumphant when her words made Bartz pause.  “Not to mention he’s ex-knighthood.  And he won't tell us who he's working for.”

Bartz rolled his eyes at her. “ _You're_ ex-knighthood and I trust _you._   And _we're_ working for Emperor Mateus; who in the world would be worse than that?”

Okay, he had a point. She paused to contemplate, and it was that moment they both heard the clashing of swords.

Lightning and Bartz whipped round to face the direction of the noise,  but all they saw were the trees lining the clearing.  Then they exchanged glances before Lightning shot off, running toward the fight.

“I’ll put trousers on and then I'll be right with you - !” she heard Bartz shout after her.

A shower of small meteors marked Cloud and Noctis’s location, and Lightning picked up the pace, hoping Noctis was alright.

Their fighting had cleared part of the forest and set some of the bush on fire, lending light to their battle.  Noctis lunged with a lance which Cloud blocked and parried.  Then Noctis side-stepped Cloud’s attack at the same time his lance disappeared and two daggers appeared in his hands in its stead.  He swiped, but Cloud hit him with a fire spell that pushed him away, closer to Lightning.

“Noctis - !” she exclaimed, which made him turn to her with wide eyes –

Cloud quick-stepped and swung his greatsword down, cutting a line down Noctis’s back.  Noctis grunted and fell into Lightning’s arms.

Shocked to see her there, Cloud stilled.

“Are you alright?” she asked Noctis, who was digging his fingers into her shoulders.  Her heart was thumping a mile a minute.

Staggering, he gritted, “I’m fine.  My jacket though... totally ruined.”  He turned to Cloud and stepped forward and out of her embrace.  Crystal weapons suddenly appeared and circled around him.   “You're gonna buy me a new outfit... bitch!”

But before they could fight again, Bartz stepped in front of Cloud with his arms out, protecting him.  “What's going on?” he demanded of Noctis.  “Why are you fighting?”

Noctis pointed at Cloud with his chin.  “Ask him.  He attacked me out of nowhere.”

Bartz turned to Cloud with a puzzled look.  Then he became imploring, searching Cloud’s eyes.  Cloud seemed to soften minutely, though he was still resolute when he said, “He needs to die.  A powerful prince wakes up after two thousand years?  Isn't that suspicious to you?”

“I don't understand...” said Bartz.

“Chaos, Exdeath, Sin, Jenova... what do they all have in common?”

Lightning stepped forward, placing herself a little in front of Noctis: to protect and to block.  “You're not a mercenary,” she accused Cloud, “you're an assassin.”

“I _was_ a mercenary,” he told her.  “I did some work for the Wild Rose Rebellion; then I decided to join them.”

Bartz was staring at Cloud in awe and some trepidation.  “You’re a member of the Wild Rose Rebellion?”

“Uhhh...” Noctis put his hand up.  “What's the Wild Rose Rebellion?”

“It's the only resistance movement that the emperor hasn’t quashed,” Lightning explained to him.  “No one knows anything about them except that their leader Firion likes flowers.”  She turned narrow eyes on Cloud.  “You think Noctis is some evil entity that has woken up and wants to destroy the world, and admittedly there have been a lot of people like that.  But the Rebel Army is against the emperor, so what do they want to kill Noctis for?”

“The rebels are against anyone or thing that would destroy the world,” Cloud told her.  He shifted his stance.  “There's no point taking down Mateus if some other asshole is waiting to take his place.”

“I’m not - I'm not here to destroy the world, okay?” said Noctis. 

“How do we know that for sure?”

“Because I’m... not a princess, or even a prince.  My name is Noctis Lucis Caelum, and I’m,” he took a deep breath, seemingly embarrassed, “the one True King.”

“The what?” said Cloud just as Bartz stepped away from him and said, “Oh _crap._ ”

Bartz’s eyes clouded over, turning the pupils and whites to the colour of storm clouds.  He spread his arms out as his face went blank, then he intoned in a deep voice that was not his own:

“ _When darkness veils the world_

_“The crystal’s vessel:_

_“The king of light shall come_

_“After a long journey the four warriors of light_

_“At last appear_

_“Darkness’ blight shall be purgededededdddddddblegh_ blegh blegh!” Bartz was pushing his tongue in and out of his mouth as if there was a hair stuck to it.  “Jeez, I HATE it when that happens!”

“What the hell was that?” Lightning shouted at him.

He waved her off.  “Oh c’mon, you know I'm the wind crystal’s chosen one.”

“Yes, but I didn't know it would _talk out of you_.”

Bartz put is hands on his hips, everyone’s stares failing to make him uneasy.  “The wind crystal is _inside_ me, and it's sentient, so occasionally it does that.”  He turned to Cloud.  “Sorry my love, but I can't let you kill this one.”  Then he said to Noctis, “I guess you're the True King and the light crystal’s chosen so whatever you need, I'll deliver.  Which means...” He turned to Lightning and gave her an apologetic shrug, “we can’t give him up to the emperor.”

Lightning frowned in thought, though deep down she was immensely relieved.  “Understood.”

Cloud sheathed his sword.

Noctis relaxed, his armiger disappearing.  “So what does Emperor Mateus want with me anyway?”

“He wants to marry you,” Lightning told him, her frown deepening.  “He thinks if you're wed then he can obtain the crystal’s power.”

Noctis’s eyes widened.  “He has the crystal?” Lightning and Bartz nodded.  Noctis rubbed his chin in thought.  “Then I have to go with you.”

Lightning blinked at him.  “And risk him gaining more power?”

Noctis smirked at her in a way that made her heart flutter.  “The crystal’s power is only given to someone born of the Lucis Caelum line, which means marrying me won't be enough.  It’s like,” he laughed nervously, “if you and me got married, and we had some kids, um, _you_ wouldn't get the power but our children would.”

Lightning felt her cheeks heat.  Bartz peered at them both.  “I know the light is dim but are you both red?”

Cloud looked at them too.  “Perhaps they got hit with a Poison spell.”

“No wait!” Bartz exclaimed, mouth slack with shock.  He pointed an accusing finger at Noctis.  “Oh my god!  You _like_ her -!  _Marry him!”_ he shouted at Lightning.  “He may be penniless, but he's willing to look past your incredible ugliness to your shining personality.”

Thankfully Bartz’s stupidity was enough to calm her blush.  But then it returned full force when Noctis said,  “What the - she's not ugly, she's actually... very beautiful...”

“She’s alright,” Cloud put in.

Steering away from the conversation regarding her looks, Lightning said to Bartz and Cloud, “I want to speak to his highness alone.”

“Okay,” said Bartz easily.  He grabbed Cloud’s hand and pulled him along.  “Come, let's return to our love tent and finish what we'd started.”

When they were gone, Lightning unsheathed her sword and stood in front of Noctis.  He watched her warily as she got down on one knee.

“Um,” he said with wide eyes, “What are you doing?”

She looked up at him through her lashes.  “Isn't it obvious?”

“No,” Noctis laughed nervously.  “There's at least two different things I'm thinking of right now, one of which you might find offensive if I told you.  Or maybe... you'd be okay with it – “

Lightning cleared her throat but did not waver.  “I, Ser Lightning Farron, hereby swear this solemn oath to you, True King Noctis Lucis Caelum, chosen of the crystal of light, king of Lucis and future ruler of Palamecia:

“That I will protect you with my sword and my body, and that I will do anything you will ask of me that is within my power.  I swear to you that you will be my one and only lord and master until you release me or death takes me.”

Oath complete, she waited with bated breath, grip tight on the hilt of her sword.

Noctis stared at her with wide eyes.

Unable to stand it, she looked away.

Finally she was able to breathe again when he summoned his own sword and gently touched the flat of it on each of her shoulders and said quietly, “I, King Noctis Lucis Caelum, born ruler of Lucis and protector of the crystal of light, accept your oath and knight you once more as Ser Lightning Farron of the Kingsglaive, until I release you or… death takes you.”  The last part was said reluctantly.

She nodded, satisfied, and stood.

“That honestly was not what I was expecting,” Noctis told her.  He rubbed the back of his neck.  “Are you… sure about this?  If you change your mind, just tell me.”

“I won’t change my mind,” Lightning told him with a conviction she could feel deep within her heart.  “Of course, now I’ve broken contract with Emperor Mateus.”

Noctis shrugged.  “Yeah but, he doesn’t know that yet.”

*

The next morning was cool and crisp.  Lightning took a moment to enjoy the morning sun on her face, the whisper of gentle wind between the leaves, and the calming sound of the stream nearby.  Two birds twitted at each other as if arguing, and then she heard Bartz’s voice from a distance as he and Cloud returned from hunting.

Noctis was still asleep. 

Another time she would have loved this moment, held onto it as long as she could, committed the feel of it to memory.  Another time she would have turned and smiled at Bartz and Cloud as they came back into the campsite.  Another time she would have let Noctis sleep in as long as he wanted.

But this morning was not that kind of peaceful morning.

This morning was full of trepidation, because they were on their way back to the capital, and they were going to kill the emperor.

As they travelled by chocobo back through the forest, the four friends made plans.  Noctis would have his hands tied together again, loosely, and Lightning and Bartz would pretend to still be bounty hunters under contract and give Noctis up.  It was Noctis’s idea, and one where Noctis would be able to get close enough to the emperor to assassinate him.  Cloud would come with them as far as any guards would let him, but most likely he would be blocked from entering the castle.

“Simple but effective,” Lightning agreed, wishing she could kill the emperor herself so that Noctis wouldn’t have to.  How was she supposed to protect him if he was planning on throwing himself at their enemy?

*

Lightning realised something was wrong before they rounded the corner and reached Pirates’ Cove.  The heavy stench of burnt wood and flesh wafted over the party, and as they had the village within sight they saw the devastation.

Some shanties were still littered with the odd spot fire.  Bodies lay in the mud, and those who were still alive were either wounded or tending to the wounded.

Lightning dismounted and approached Kuja, who was standing in the muck next to his colourful theatre caravan and adjusting the harness on his chocobo.

“What happened here,” Lightning asked him.

He looked at her, mouth pressed into a hard line. “What do you suppose?” he drawled, as Bartz ran past them and over to Zidane who was talking to a group of wan children, switching to white mage job as he went.  Noctis went with him.

Kuja told her, “The emperor believed the pirates were harbouring members of the rebellion, so he took fire to it.”

“The Rebel Army was here?” Cloud demanded.

Kuja gave him a long once over before replying with an elegant hand wave, “How should I know?”

Cloud looked pensive.  Zidane ran over to them with Bartz and Noctis in tow.  “Lightning, tell Bartz he has to come with us,” said Zidane.  “King Cecil is taking in refugees; if you head to Castle Palamecia you'll be killed, or worse!”

“’Killed or worse’?” Noctis muttered. Bartz said to Zidane, “You know I go where the wind goes, and currently the wind is going with Noct.”

“I've sworn fealty to the True King,” Lightning agreed.

Kuja raised his eyebrows then looked at Noctis with interest.  “So this is the princess from the tower?”

Noctis rubbed the back of his neck.  “That’s me.”

“At any rate,” Lightning told Zidane, “if us going to the emperor means we can detract focus from people fleeing these lands then it's best we continue as planned.”

“And I have to kill the emperor,” Noctis told them all, with resolve.

Zidane went pale.

Kuja turned back to his chocobo with a frown.  “Then we will never see each other again.”

“We will, Kuja,” Lightning promised.

*

The party helped the theatre troop until twilight.  With Pirates’ Cove the way it was, they could not stay there; instead they made camp off the road to Palamecia.

There was a feeling of dread even the next day. Upon his chocobo Bartz sang:

“ _She said, ‘Somebody has to clean all this away_

_“’Somebody, somebody has to you see.’_

_“Then she picked out two somebodies, Lightning and me!*”_

The four of them rode through the marshes, through the bog and the mud.  Through the deadlands, the wartorn, the uninhabitable, the barren and the acidic.

“This was farmland once,” Noctis murmured in despair atop a chocobo he had taken from Pirates’ Cove, the owner no longer having need of it.  There were bodies of pigs and cows strewn across the land, as if poisoned by the very grass they had eaten.  “I have to kill again,” he said to himself.

“You don’t _have_ to do anything,” Lightning snapped at him.  “Er, your highness.  I could do it.”

“I woke up here and now, in this time, for a reason.”

“Maybe you'd just slept enough,” said Cloud from behind them.

Bartz sniggered into his hand.

*

They hid behind an abandoned house just beyond the city gates, after having let their chocobos wander freely.  As planned, Lightning took the time to tie Noctis’s hands behind him, tight enough that the rope didn’t fall off, but loose enough that he could break out at any moment.

Her fingers brushed the warm, soft skin of his wrists as she righted the knots, her unsteady breath ruffling the black hair that brushed his neck.  He turned to her side-along.  “You don’t need to be nervous,” he said, “I won't let anything happen to you.”

She looked at his profile; still pretty even with a tense expression, a light blush dusting his cheeks.  “I’m your glaive,” she said, “that’s my line.”

He gave her a half-smile.  “Yeah.”

Cloud and Bartz waited to the side, holding hands and heads bent together and murmuring “be careful” and “I’m with you” and “we do this together.”

When they were done, the four of them looked at each other, gazes steely with resolve.  “The wind’s at our backs, Your Majesty,” said Bartz.

“That’s...” said Noctis, “good?”

Bartz nodded.

They approached the main gates and their guards checked their paperwork.  Cloud scanned the tall walls as they stood there and also as they were allowed through the gates.  “It’s changed a lot since I was here last,” he told the group lowly when they were out of earshot.  “They’ve fortified the walls and put more guards at each station.”

“Even as his people starve,” said Noctis.  They stepped over flagstones through a quiet square.

“That gate we just went through,” began Lightning, “and this whole area used to be full of traders and markets.”

“We would buy bread from that stall over there, remember?” Bartz asked Lightning, smiling sadly.  “He had the best buns…” he leaned over and murmured in her ear, hiding his mouth, “in more ways than one.”

Cloud raised his eyebrow at him.  “I heard that.”

Bartz slammed his hands over his own mouth and looked at him with large, innocent eyes.  But Cloud only smirked at him, and Bartz relaxed, then said sadly, “The emperor’s men smashed his cart, and when he protested, they strung him.”

They walked through empty streets, past houses with bordered up windows.  The palace was a different story: it gleamed in the sunlight, its guards wore well pressed uniforms; the juxtaposition of its ostentatiousness against the poverty and violent aftermath of the city threw Lightning after not being in the city for a week.

They were almost at the palace entrance when a bird flew overhead with a flower in its mouth.  Both Cloud and Lightning stopped and stared at it, but for different reasons: Lightning had stopped because she hadn’t yet seen a bird in this area since she’d arrived, but Cloud…

“It’s the wild rose,” Cloud murmured.  His eyes tracked the bird’s travel, then he said to the group very quietly, “It’s a message: the Rebel Army are about to attack the city.”  He was already backing away from the castle.  “I have to help them get through the gates.”

“I’ll come with you!” said Bartz.

“But - !” said Lightning.

She and Bartz looked at each other and had the same thought at the exact same time: that they were about to get separated, and that was a scary thing.

But Bartz had a lover now, and this war was bigger than all of them.

She nodded at him.  “Go,” she said.

He nodded back.  Then he and Cloud ran back in the direction they’d just come.

Lightning watched them go for a moment, then she and Noctis turned to each other.

Noctis said quietly, “I lied to you in the tower: I said you needed to kiss me to wake me up, but you didn’t need to.”

Lightning snorted in amusement.  “I figured.”

His mouth twisted as he looked away from her.  “I just… wanted to.  Kiss you, I mean.  Since the moment I saw you.”

Lightning swallowed, a pleasurable weight dropping in her stomach.

He looked at her with intense, dark eyes.  “I want to kiss you now,” he said.  Then he cupped her cheek with one hand and held her gently with the other, and leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.

His mouth was warm and gentle and not forceful as she had expected.  Instead, he was respectful and sweet, and despite their travels he smelt really, really good.

He pulled away slowly.

Ignoring her tingling mouth, she said, “Let’s do this.”

Noctis’s expression hardened with added confidence and resolve, and they turned to the castle.

*

This time there was no servant to escort them; in fact, there didn’t seem to be any anywhere.

The tall armoured magician introduced them to Emperor Mateus when they entered the throne room.  The emperor glanced at them before going back to examining the crystal.

“The princess looks male,” he drawled.

“He is, Your Greatness,” said Lightning.

The emperor breathed in deeply though his nose and gave Noctis a once-over.  “No matter, a slave is a slave.” He looked at Lightning.  “I’m in no mood to pay you today.” Then he said to the mage, “Kill her.”

Noctis warped suddenly, putting himself between Lightning and the mage.  “Don’t touch her!”

Lightning groaned; why did Noctis blow his cover for this?

The mage looked at him and said solemnly, “I wasn’t planning to.  Emperor, I quit!”

Mateus looked unperturbed.  He said, “Then welcome to your cell, Golbez,” and cast an electrocuting, purple cell around him that made him grunt in pain.

“You should run,” Golbez gasped at Noctis.

“Yeah, I don’t do that anymore,” Noctis said.  He and Lightning exchanged resolute glances, then together they turned to the emperor.

“How dare you try to stay alive when I’ve ordered your death,” said Mateus, and with a wave of his sceptre, Lightning was encased in lightning and screaming in pain.

“ARRRRRRUUUGUGUGGHGHH!!” she heard Noctis shout in rage as his crystal weapons surrounded him and his eyes turned red.  Then he dashed at Emperor Mateus, screaming, “ _I KILL YOU!!!_ ”

*

Cloud, Bartz, Firion, and some blonde guy with a sword made of water charged into the throne room, then stopped short when they saw the blood and guts splattered all over the dais, walls and Noctis.  Lightning, breathing heavily from the aftershocks of torture, turned to them.  “Hey,” she said.

“Hey,” said Cloud, automatically.

“Well met,” said Firion.  “Seems our work here has been done for us.”

Bartz went over to Lightning and took her arm.  “Are you ok?”

“Fine.”

The rest of the Rebel Army poured into the throne room.  Lightning limped over to Noctis - who was also breathing heavily from his battle - and took his blood-soaked arm and lifted it into the air.

“His Highness Noctis Lucis Caelum has defeated Emperor Mateus,” she announced.  “Long live the king!”

“Long live the king!” Bartz shouted with a grin, then said it again.

“Long live the king,” Cloud joined him.  Firion and his blonde companion exchanged glances, and chanted it too.

Then everyone was joining in.

Noctis gave them all an exhausted, grateful smile.

*

_Two weeks later_

Lightning knocked once on the chamber door before entering.

Bartz was neatly folding clothes while Cloud was sitting on their shared bed and rummaging for something in the trunk at the foot.

“Good morning,” Bartz greeted her.  He straightened and put his hands on his hips.  “So I hear princesses and princes far and wide are practically throwing themselves at the king, but the king only has eyes for the commander of his armies.”

Lightning blushed.

“Put him out of his misery and just become queen already.”

“Marriage is a big commitment,” she told him.  “I could maybe… go out for a drink with him first.”  Then she looked at what Bartz was _really_ doing, and frowned.  “You’re packing.”

Bartz twisted his mouth guiltily.  “Any way the wind blows – “

“- That’s the way you go,” finished Lightning, unable to keep the sadness from her voice.

Of course, deep down she knew it was going to happen; Bartz was never one for settling down in one place, not even for his best friend.  She knew, on some level, that the only reason they had been together for so long was _because_ Lightning was travelling the country, and it so happened that he wanted to go with her.

But she was settled now, commander of the Kingsglaive.  She needed to stay and he needed to go, and that was how it was with them.

Bartz took in her sad expression then said, voice dropping to a ridiculous low octave, “Hi, my name’s Lightning, and I love mystery meat pie, even though I don’t know what’s in it.  What meat could I possibly be eating right now?  This makes me angry and want to make stabby movements with my sword.”

Lightning affected her voice to go really high pitched, waved her hand flamboyantly and countered with, “The name’s Bartz and I don’t care what’s in mystery meat pie, so long as all the men around me are beautiful to look at.  It makes the food taste better.”

They both laughed at each other.

When they sobered, Bartz said, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.  It’s you.”

Bartz gestured at Cloud who was still on the other side of the room, busy packing.  “The king has asked for us to be ambassadors.  First we’ll visit Firion at the Wild Rose headquarters, then we will visit Queen Lenna and treat for peace.”

“That’s an ambitious mission.”

He waved her concerned comment away.  “Nah.  I know Lenna from my travels before, and we’re already on good terms with Firion as you know.”

Later, the four of them met at the city gates to say goodbye.  Noctis looked rumpled.  He waved his hand lazily, “Stay safe, okay.”

Bartz raised his eyebrows.  “Are you alright, Your Highness?”

Noctis adjusted the blanket around his shoulders.  “I just woke up.”

Bartz looked at the position of the sun.  “It’s almost noon.”

Lightning stepped closer to Bartz, and with only a little hesitation, gave him a tight hug.

“We’ll definitely see each other again,” he said.

“Yes, we will,” she replied.

With final waves, Bartz and Cloud mounted their chocobos and left.  Lightning and Noctis watched them go.

Then Lightning slipped her hand into Noctis’s.  He gripped back tight.

“Let’s have luncheon together,” said Lightning, without looking at him.

“Ah, sure!  When?”

She did look at him then, with a raised eyebrow.  “Now?”

He was staring at her in awe, like she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.  “So you mean… breakfast?”

 

 end,

**Author's Note:**

> *Poem taken from Dr Seus's The Cat in the Hat Comes Back.
> 
> Also, the scene in the end is a nod to this post on tumblr: brosura.tumblr.com/post/168238418151/warrior-of-light-ah-hello-there-are-you-an-ally


End file.
